Tips ‘n’ Quips

cloudy day

“A cloudy day is no match for a sunny disposition.”
~ William Arthur Ward



“To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the loving cup,
Whenever you’re wrong admit it, whenever you’re right shut up.”   
~ Ogden Nash



Just for Fun – Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

Chicken crossing road

“The chicken’s habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.”
“I don’t know why the chicken crossed the road, but I’ll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I’ll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I’m talking about your money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.”
“No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the farmer’s market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.”

“Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, The chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I’ve not been told!”
“To die. In the rain. Alone.”

“I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.”
“In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.”

“Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road.”
“Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.”

“It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.”
“I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death its right to do it.”
“To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.”
“You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?”

“The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.”
“I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but also will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook – and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.”

“Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?”
“I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?”

“I missed one?”

Looking South

“Life is full of beauty.
Notice it.
Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces.
Smell the rain, and feel the wind.
Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.”

~ Ashley Smith



“Every day, make it a point to celebrate your successes,
no matter how small they are.
When you do this you tell the Universe that you are in time and in alignment with the flow of life.”  ~ Eugene Holden



“The secret of getting ahead is getting started.
The secret to getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks and then starting on the first one.” ~ Mark Twain


shhoting star

Lucky stars above you
Sunshine on your way
Many friends to love you
Joy in work and play
Laughter to outweigh each care
In your heart a song
And gladness waiting everywhere
All your whole life long!
~ Celtic Blessing


Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.”  ~ Charles Swindoll

“It is not what you want that you attract, you attract what you believe to be true.” ~ Neville Goddard

The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.” ~ George Jessel

giving gift


What if you gave someone a gift, and they neglected to thank you for it – would you be likely to give them another?

Life is the same way.

In order to attract more of the blessings that Life has to offer, you must truly appreciate what you already have. ~ Ralph Martin

“Christmas gift suggestions:
To your enemy, forgiveness.
To an opponent, tolerance.
To a friend, your heart.
To a customer, service.
To all, charity.
To every child, a good example.
To yourself, respect.” ~ Oren Arnold


Hands-only CPR can save lives!   If you see a teen or adult suddenly collapse, and they are unresponsive and no pulse is detected, call 9-1-1 and push hard and fast in the center of the chest, depressing 2 inches each time (and releasing)  to the beat of the classic disco song “Stayin’ Alive” until medical help arrives.  (According to the American Heart Association.)

CPR can more than double a person’s chances of survival, and “Stayin’ Alive” has the right beat for Hands-Only CPR.

A child who collapses is more likely to primarily have breathing problems — and in that case, mouth-to-mouth breathing should be used.

To shorten winter, borrow some money due in spring.” ~ W.J. Vogel

Know that all strength, all healing of every nature is the changing of the vibrations within,
the attuning of the divine within the living tissue of a body to creative energies.
This alone is healing.”
~ Edgar Cayce

“Joy is not something that comes to us from some outside source,
 joy is a way of being that comes from within.”  ~ Eugene Holden

ABCs of Fast Stress Relief
Deadlines, holidays,  finances, family or travel leaving you feeling Frantic? Stressed? Harried?
A few tips to de-stress, relax and unwind quilcky, even while sitting at a desk or in a car:
* Adjust your Attitude – Smile! Hold for ten seconds.
* Breathe deeply – slowly fill your belly with air and release ten times.
* Clear you mind of stressful thoughts for a few moments by picturing yourself relaxing on a warm beach or in front of a cozy fireplace.
* Stretch – move. Roll your shoulders. Reach your hands up as far as you can and bend from side to side.  Bend your head down and slowly roll it around in one direction, then reverse. Depending on the time you have, alternate the ABCs.

“When you rise in the morning, give thanks for the light, for your life, for your strength. Give thanks for your food and for the joy of living.”  ~ Tecumseh

“All was confusion at the health center.  Several diagnostic machines had broken down; technicians were milling around, and doctors were behind schedule seeing patients.
At one point a woman in a purple jogging suit strode purposefully to the front desk.  ‘See here,’ she declaimed in a loud voice.  ‘I’ve been waiting since nine o’clock for a 9:15 appointment.  It is now 11:30 and, DARNIT, I WANT MY STRESS TEST!'”  ~ Michal Shapiro

“They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world: someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for.”  ~ Tom Bodett